The Victoria Cup (as in Queen Victoria? Victoria, BC? Victoria Falls? Victor/Victoria? Victoria Taranonva? This must be Victoria’s secret) has them shivering with anticipation in Russia — or at least in Washington, DC, where a correspondent to the Russian Sport-Express, Slava Malamud shivers for his readership.
This is a long and funny story, mostly about his perception of the NHL’s designs on Europe, suggesting the NHL’s team in the Russian capital would perhaps be called the Moscow Bears (”We grieve because, unlike the Western stereotype, there are no bears in the streets of Moscow.”) or, even better, the Moscow Russians — an Eastern echo of the Montreal Canadiens.
But Slava has more immediate concerns for his countrymen and -women: “We sit with you (you on one side of the ocean, and your correspondent on the other) and look forward to next week, thinking, “Are we ready?’ And if so, if Metallurg beats Rangers, what would it mean…on a global scale?”
On a global scale? Have we missed something? Are these the stakes? Will Petr Nedved be in the lineup? Does Slava think a victory over the Rangers will somehow upset the world balance of hockey power? Teams beat the Rangers all the time — the Kings beat the Rangers last year; the Leafs beat them twice. We didn’t sense anything happen on a global scale afterward.
Or might Slava have a deeper meaning: Will a win by the Magnetic Mountain trigger a shift of the tectonic plates, the Eurasian Plate drifting into the North American plate? This could be serious.
But we’re not taking this seriously, decries Slava. Why is it the NHL is so concerned with hockey in Europe when the fans don’t seem to be? And neither are the newspapers. He apparently moseys over to The Newsroom on Connecticut Avenue NW and N. Florida near DuPont Circle in DC and picks up the New York papers. He believes that on this side of the pond, we are minimizing the importance of this game.
Of course, that’s not the worst thing because, Slava says, paraphrasing the Soviet poet/songwriter Vasily Lebedev-Kumach, “If we win, the slogans of our victory will sparkle more brightly; if we lose, why worry? The enemy won’t even notice.” Jeez, such wisdom. Sportswriters in North American papers don’t seem that erudite.
But he has noticed that the New York Post (which he tells Russia is “the tabloid that writes bigger and better about hockey than any other New York newspaper,” rendering a solid right to our solar plexus), has written — his translation from English to Russian and ours back to English (whew!) — “the Rangers will hold two practice matches and then start the season.” That’s it? Practice? What a kick in Russia’s pants!
And, he will not overlook the New York Times (which is “more than respectable, but less sporty” delivering a left cross to our respectable chin) and this paper has completely ignored the “hockey war of the world.” Slava, baby! You’ve been looking in the wrong place! You gotta read this blog! We’re all over this bad boy….well, we’ve written about it a fair amount.
What does this mean?” he asks “Does this mean that in North America they simply don’t care about this this decisive battle, they don’t place any value over there on a cup named in honor of Beckham’s wife?”
Finally! The answer at last! The Victoria Cup is named for Posh Spice. How can you top that?
Thank you, Slava. But, really, she wasn’t the Victoria we were hoping for.
http://slapshot.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/ ... -and-bern/
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